Saving all my goods and throw away all bads from this generation

I have come to my very moment of breathing alone and straight... Idealism is there with me. Reaching out from the habit by pursuing the need of self and people around.
I guess life is asking me to explore it

Sabtu, 06 April 2013

Si Hujan, Si Media, dan Saya


HUJAN
Hari-hari ini banyak sekali penulis yang berbicara tentang Hujan. Hujan nampaknya memberikan suatu pengaruh besar dalam kehidupan. I think si Hujan berhasil menjadi sangat popular karena hampir setiap hari dibahas oleh banyak sekali orang. Dan lagi Hujan hampir selalu mampu mengontrol banyak kejadian, keputusan, bahkan perasaan.

Tidak sedikit orang berdoa dan menanti-nantikan si Hujan setiap waktu. Tapi, ternyata tidak sedikit juga orang yang berdoa mengutuki dan menghardik si Hujan supaya jangan turun dan atau berhenti turun. Banyak juga muda mudi yang senang berhujan-hujanan. Menurut mereka,”It is sexy”.  Anak kecil pun tidak mau kalah, mereka juga senang berhujan-hujanan, to them “Theres’s nothing more excited than to go out, playing under and through the rain”. Now, coba kamu ingat-ingat dulu masa kecilmu bersama si Hujan. How did you find it?

Media bagi hujan...
Apa kamu pernah berpikir tentang peran hebat teman kita yang bernama Media? Setalah saya pikir-pikir, ternyata si Media itu cukup ‘ember’dan ‘dramatis’, terutama Media bermarga Elektronik. Let’s say beberapa videp klip, sinetron atau film-film. Mereka suka banget mengungkit-ungkit soal Hujan. Mereka juga meracuni pikiran saya tentang Hujan. Kalau saya ingat-ingat, waktu kecil saya senang sekali bermain bersama si Hujan. Kalau si Hujan datang, saya menyambutnya dengan meriah. Tetapi semua berbeda ketika saya beranjak dewasa, saya banyak memilih untuk membatasi dalam berinteraksi dengan hanya melihat si Hujan dari teras rumah saja, atau dari balik jendela kamar saya, bahkan saya terpaksa menahan diri untuk tidak bertemu atau sekedar melihatnya, karena mendengarnya saja sudah cukup menambah pilu, ngilu, dan linu. Hujan yang dulu sering menghibur saya, sekarang menjadi pembawa kegalauan nomer satu.Tapi tunggu dulu!! I have come to a reality bahwa ternyata yang buat saya merasa sedih ketika si Hujan datang itu karena banyak banget visualisasi dari kesedihan yang muncul di video klip lagu-lagu yang sedih, sinetron ato film-film yang pernah saya tonton itu. Mereka berhasil men-dragged saya sampai-sampai saya selalu menghubungkan hujan sama semua kesedihan. 

Di sisi lain, kalau saya boleh sedikit menghubung-hubungkan teori hujan dengan apa yang saya mengerti, galau itu datangnya dari kita sendiri. Sama seperti hujan yang berasal dari air di bumi yang mengalami penguapan di bumi lalu dibawa ke awan di atas sana dan ketika awannya sudah ‘keberatan’ menanggung uap, maka ‘jatuh’lah si Hujan ke bumi (kembali).  I think, that is what happens to human beings. Kita kadang memproses kesedihan terlalu jauh, dan menumpuk memori kesedihan kita dalam perasaan yang sebenarnya rapuh, dan saat itu ketika sudah tak sanggup membendungnya, kegalauan tingkat “HUJAN” pun bisa mengambil alih perasaan kita. Entah cuman gerimis, hujan lumayan lebat, hujan lebat sekali, sampai hujan badai. Ketika kita tidak bisa me-maintain perasaan kita maka apa yang saya katakan tentang media sebagai unsur eksternal dalam hal ‘kegalauan’ kita, akan berhasil membuat saya (mungkin banyak orang juga) merasa hujan adalah kemarahan atau kesedihan langit yang ingin dan harus ditumpahkan ke bumi. Bukan cuman suatu proses alam yang terjadi, dan memaksa kita untuk kembali mengingat-ingat kesedihan kita di masa lalu.

Coba pikirkan teori hujan, pengaruh media, dan penguasaan dirimu. Kamu akan tahu, betapa banyak alasan lain untuk bersedih tanpa harus membawa-bawa si Hujan, dan terlalu banyak juga hal yang asyik dilakukan bersama si Hujan. Satu lagi, si Media itu sebenarnya tidak punya hak membuat kamu kecanduan untuk bersedih hati.

My Excitement Embarrassed Me


Years ago, I was at the 4th grade in elementary school. I was selected as the caller for the Monday Ceremony. It was very unbelievable that my teacher entrusted me with this ‘great valuable responsibility’. Being the caller in such ceremony is very cool, I thought.
 It was a sunny Saturday afternoon when me and my friends who were in charge of the ceremony were rehearsing for the coming Monday. The rehearsal went smooth and successful. I went home with a smiling face of a little boy who succeeded his first time rehearsing as a caller of a Monday Ceremony.  Later in the evening,  me and my mom went to a shopping center to buy some new uniform attributes. I thought I would look better when wearing those new attributes. After shopping we went home, had dinner then I went to bed.
When morning came, everybody was already at the dining table for family morning prayer except me. I was still asleep and didn’t realize that sun had started shining already. All at once, I woke up and checked the clock, it was 6.30. Immediately, I grabbed my towel and ran to the bathroom without looking around.  After taking a shower, I was running back to my bedroom but suddenly my mom stopped me and asked, “Why are you running to and fro?  What’s happening?” “ I’m late for the ceremony, I need to get dressed now” I said. Directly the whole family at the dining table started laughing. I gazed up at them and wondered what they were laughing at. And so my mom said, “It’s Sunday baby, you better get prepared for Sunday School.” For whatever sake, I was totally embarrassed, walking slowly and less energetically to my bedroom without any single word. I realized that they were laughing at me, at my foolishness.
With a little smile I stared at my uniform and chuckled for what just happened. On one hand, I was so embarrassed that I was overexcited and forgot what day it was, I didn’t realize that it was a Sunday not a Monday, but on the other hand I learned that rechecking my schedule and setting the alarm before sleep are the things I needed to do.

Why Do We Respect Others



There was a time when I sat back thinking about a word that may have lost its meaning among people all around the world. It is the word, respect. I don’t understand what is really happening so that people tend to forget or ignore what this word really means. Starting from that time, I came to this thinking which influenced my life up a lot. I am not only talking about the literal meaning of the word, respect, that we can find in the dictionary but more into what this word really means to me, and what I really believe as a reflection of this word.
I believe that respect is everybody’s right. No one should ever hold back respect from anybody. The thing is, sometimes people build levels on respecting other people. This is very sad and bad. How can people see someone’s social class, position or job, background, age, intelligence, even appearance to determine whether they deserve respect or not. Discrimination happens a lot. Moreover, people often discriminate others just because the way they are. To me, respect should highly be shown in a genuine consciousness. Whoever  the person is, what they do for good, where they come from, how old they are,or how much money they can earn each month, even how attractive their appearance is, should never be a boundary of getting respect. They deserve it with or without any vivid reason.
This is how I think respect should be realized: Throw away all the ego and pride that mostly drive people to live in a circle of exclusivity. Get away from the habit of  looking down on others for their weaknesses or simply their differences. Start respecting them no matter what. Sometimes, we also don’t get any respect from others, so to have the respect we should first respect others, sooner or later others will respect us too. Remember, whatever you expect from others to do for you, do it first, you will somehow get what is better than the things you can ever imagine. God watches over everything. He watches your genuine heart.

Minggu, 31 Maret 2013

By the Tomb, I Sat and Wept

It has been more than seven years, since the last time I prepared the bread for her. Ten minutes walking to the hospital, I arrived with a box containing her favourite bread and jams. Bread that grandma always bakes, it's my favourite too. She was disappointed that I had not spread the jam over the bread. She scolded me. I was upset, I vanished out the room,I went away. My ego and emotion dragged me from understanding what she really meant and needed. I never wanted to go back to the hospital. I could not accept it that she did not see my effort as something worth smiling for, but now I could not forgive myself that I never returned and served her big-heartedly. I regretted it.

 Early in the morning, exactly two nights later, the sky was being an awfully immature friend. He poured down his tears so badly as if he was losing something valuable. He downed me for sure. Everyone knew that it was 15 December 2005, her birthday. All day long, they came to the hospital with presents and flowers. They gathered and prayed for her cure. I sat down at the corner and was reminded of the bread I wronged her with. I reluctantly smiled, my chicks got wet. Suddenly, my grandma went out from the ICU room, calling someone in rampant voice she said, "Her spirit has just left her." All at once, my energy flew up to the altitude. I was shocked and silenced. That was her birthday, when she went to the eternity.

 On 6 February 2013, by the tomb, I sat and wept. Grieving for a role model in my life. The brightest woman I have ever known, the most generous person that I was once so close with and a great vocal coach who handled me sincebthe very birth of my singing. I recalled the day where I was renewed to please her, was actually the day I was too late to regret. She flung up to heaven to experience the greatest love of all, that will never fail her for even a bread matter. Golda Monalisa, Some Aunt.









Kamis, 16 Februari 2012

Jumat, 26 Agustus 2011

New Family that I spend y life with..

These guys are great! I met them. They have made me glad to be friends with them Even more, It feels like having another big family. I love them, I thank God for them... They colour myself...

WHO AM I


Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.


I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.


I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
Cause I am yours..
I am yours..

Kamis, 21 Juli 2011

One Of The Most Inspiring Group Of Singers For Me

It is Acapella Praise
Singing in group is not as easy as I thought.Being comfortable with singing as a soloist make me feel other kind of singing implementations are simple and easy.
Until I got to a situation where I had to sing with a number of people. I was very challenged. It was new for me.Nevertheless, Pierre, my uncle introduced me an acapella group called Acapella Praise. '
First song that I heard from them was "Joy Of My Desire", I was so surprised, impressed and curious how could they sing that well.
Coming from that situation, I keep studying their songs and singing technical. They are the best acapella group for me. They sing very well, balance, and harmony.

I hope you guys wanna check them out on Youtube or 4shared.

I am expecting that you guys can be joyful and blessed when you listen to this group singing..
Thank you Lord, Thank you Acapella Praise.

Blessings..

Selasa, 19 Juli 2011

He Lightens Me

I have been always searching for the meaning of life..
when life is always challenging, I believe that there is something to discover. It doesn't always have to be a great thing but it can also be something so simple.

Life teaches me to be more brave than who I was. Many occurrences happen in my life that teach me to discover where I should go, what I should do and even what I should take to be the priority. Many people let their heart be led by their emotion, feelings, and thinking that don't always go surely. But life teaches me to lead my heart.. when I know that heart can also misslead me, I decided not to depend on what my heart says. I would rather depend on what God tells me to do.

Pleasing the Lord is my desire. The Lord indirectly teach me to face life according to what he plans. He teaches and leads me when I go astray. He sends people come to my life to show what his will is. He even does things out of my mind that brings my mind to an understanding point which is also given by him. 
He sees me wherever I go, he helps me whenever I call on him. Even when I have nothing to believe he does all thing creatively and out of box. He works extremely well in my life. 

When my life seems dropping, I know he is there to cover me. When the bold darkens my sun, I know he is there lightens me. He is my Lord, Jesus.

Spending time with friends..

I have always been wondering if my friends grow more and more... having them is like having so much support from  the world.
These people are special because they treat me so well, like no body has ever done one for me.
We break the value of the world and tribe which we can only make friends with those who come from the same tribes, social rate, educational rate and so on...
I thank God for this great friendship he allows me to make.